And by interesting, I of course mean sucky. Started last night when I got two-outed twice in a PLO tournament and then thrown out of the casino because the dealer in the 8-16 game didn’t know the rules and I had the gall to point that out to him. Tonight got even more interesting. On my way to pick up Alison from basketball practice, I changed lanes to avoid the bus that was stopped in my lane. Two young gentlemen going 70 or so down a Hamline apparently felt that I should have waited for them to go by before switching lanes. Or at least that’s what I inferred from the flashed lights and honking. Being from Massachusetts, I immediately informed them that I was number one through the use of hand signals through the rear window, and again through the driver’s side as they passed. They had their window down and conferred their wish that I perform an act I’m certain I’m not flexible enough to succeed at, and I suggested maybe they should do it to each other, since they were obviously such close friends. I turned right into the Target parking lot to get a coffee, and they kept driving.
I thought that was the end of it.
But no, walking through the parking lot, these two tools pulled by me and told me I should have my eyes checked. Now, I didn’t think they were actually concerned with my optomological health, so I gave me them fairly detailed instructions on what they should do if they should happen upon a canvas bag filled with dick. They fired one last two syllable volley and drove off. Or so I thought. I went and got my coffee—extra hot in case I had to throw it at one of them; I thought there might be a tussle when I emerged from the coffee shop—and walked back to my car.
The hooligans had knifed my rear tire. Why on on earth would you stab an innocent Korean automobile? What had my minivan ever done? Lucky for me, they were not very thorough. They only knifed one tire, and I was nearly an whole block away from a discount tire store. Additionally, winter’s coming and the tread was low on all my tires, so forcing me to get a new set may actually save my life later this winter. Still, I hated being late to pick up Ali.